Parenting Frustrations

If you've ever had a conversation with me, chances are that the subject of my children came up and you probably listened politely while I shared something funny they did, or something witty they said or something charming that occured between them.  You may have been left with the impression that my Cuties are precious angels and that their mother is infinately patient, kind and wise. 

If you could see my face right now, you'd be reassured, however, that my Cuties are regular normal little kids and I am NOT "mother of the year". 

For your blog-reading enjoyment, here is my face.  Right now. 

We have the average day-to-day struggles that land us in time-out.  No biggie.  Then there are the things that really press our buttons and push us to our parental limit; back-talking, defiance, full out screaming tantrums, to name a few.  And it's not just the kids' behaviors, but the parents' reactions.  We actually got to the point recently that Joe and I felt it necessary to spend an entire Saturday at a Love and Logic seminar.  Which was very helpful. 

The real challenge lately has been our darling seven-year-old and her behavior at school.  It started with a report one evening of "inappropriate talking" sent home in her binder.  Okay, no big deal.  We even told the darling seven-year-old that everyone is afforded a reminder from time to time.  By the third report of "inappropriate talking" in the same week, we conferenced with the child's teacher and took away the privilege of riding bikes to school. 

I know that parents have dealt with worse. But we think every kid has their own capabilities and should have their own individual expectations. We know what this little girl is capable of and she knows what the expectation is.  We try to teach our kids that this family is a "team". Nobody gets paid an allowance to do chores around here.  Mommy doesn't necessarily like staying up all night long at work, but that's one of her contributions.  School-age children in this house are students, and going to school is one of the ways they contribute. 


So the following week we received more behavior reports culminating with an incident last Friday in the cafeteria involving our darling seven-year-old, a carton of milk, a straw and a wet classmate....
I am very pleased to report that this parental unit suppressed the urge to rant, ask rhetorical questions, yell, and otherwise flap about like a rabid parakeets and rather made a very long, comprehensive, list of housework to be completed and issued the following decree (which I was VERY proud of):

"Second graders who can not follow

classroom rules and identify appropriate behaviors and

appropriate times for conversation

will be accompanied to school

by their sweats-wearing, glasses-wearing, coffee-drinking,

frowning and displeased mother

who will quietly sit beside the offending student

and offer public reminders of appropriate

classroom behavior as needed

since the student can not seem to manage

this task independently."

To this was added Amendment A:

"Offending student will then be required

to complete all the household chores

upon arriving home after school that the

displeased mother was unable to accomplish

due to babysitting second-grader

 at school all day."

Like I said, very pleased with myself and my parenting capabilities - until darling second-grader came home with a report of "inappropriate talking" tonight.  So I will be spending Friday morning, when I should otherwise be resting in anticipation of work or studying in anticipation of exams, babysitting my seven-year-old at school.  All for the sake of effective discipline and follow-through.  And to assure my seven-year-old that, indeed, her mother is crazy and will make good on her promises. 

Please refer to the picture of my face at the beginning of this post.