The Resurrection

Well, not THE Resurection. I have great faith in my ability to amuse and inspire, but I take my humble place behind the Lord.

Anyway, I need to convey to you a pattern before I get to the resurrection.

Years ago, a charming, attractive, young mother was driving home from a long shift at the hospital in one of those infamous Nebraska blizzards. The kind of blizzard that would make those Texans who drive in a 1/2 inch of wet snow at 5 mph with their flashers on suffer a massive anxiety attack and fall over dead. This poor mother endured not one, not two, but three complete spin-outs in her little Ford Focus before arriving nearly hysterical at home and vowing never to drive again. That year for Christmas, her hero got her a four-wheel drive SUV.
Another time, this charming, attractive, young mother and her hero decided to purchase their first home. After months of looking, they found the perfect house! And were promptly outbid... But then, after resolving to place an offer on another place, her hero produced a contract on the dreamhouse. Surprise!
On another occasion the charming, attractive, young mother burned her arm pulling muffins out of the oven. It was a bad burn. It didn't even hurt, it was that bad. Several days later, a cute blue oven mitt with red lady bugs was purchased by her hero to spare her arms further trauma.
Yet another time this very same charming, attractive, young mother accidentally drowned her new iPhone. You may have heard... After her hero's face returned to its normal color and after about 12 hours of controlled silence on the subject, her hero spent almost an entire Saturday lying through his teeth to procure for her a new iPhone. He succeeded.  And Katie's iPhone has been resurrected!  (Which is good because even after only one week with the thing, I couldn't get my life back without it.) 
Despite the difficulty, this hero puts forth great effort in trying to make the life of a certain charming, attractive, young mother easier. Your efforts are not unnoticed dear hero.