Letter to fellow parent

I have a bone to pick.

Makeup does not belong on a 10 year old girl with the rare exception being made for sleepover play and Halloween costumes.  This is our family standard and belief.  Not wearing mascara, blush and lipgloss in 5th grade does not make our child a "social outcast" as you adamantly and repeatedly insisted within her hearing and the hearing of all her 5th grade friends.  As mature and responsible as our daughters may be, they are 10 year old children.  Tell me, who does my child need to be pretty for?  Who's attention and approval should she be seeking?  If you start down this road at 10 years old, where are you at 16?

It is not that you disagree with my parenting style.  It is that you openly criticize me and single out my daughter with your hurtful words.   Perhaps you felt as though you were advocating for Ali.  Perhaps you felt we were being unfair.  Perhaps you didn't bother to consider our relationship with our daughter or that while she may disagree with our decisions at times, she respects them.  She has noticed that her mom and dad will risk going against the popular decision, we will risk upsetting her, to stand by what we believe. She is secure in the fact that her parents care about her, love her beyond measure and have her best interests at heart at all times.  Perhaps it's none of your business.

I anticipate we will soon be having a conversation about our decision not to allow our child to travel with the soccer team to Phoenix.  While we appreciate the invitation, the only traveling we are interested in with our 5th grade soccer player are those destinations that can be easily reached by car with her family.  Quite simply, my 10 year old daughter goes where her parents go.  My husband and I realize that most of the families on this team will not hesitate.  However, we believe that traveling by air to an out-of-state tournament with chaperones is an appropriate opportunity for a high school athlete, after having earned the travel funds herself.  I hope that when this conversation happens, that it is brief and received without judgement and immature words.  And I pray that if it is not, that I have the strength of heart, clarity of thought and calmness of spirit to kindly tell you to SHUT UP.

-Katie

Field Trip!

 

Joe and I decided not to enroll Eva in preschool this fall. 

It just came down to logistics and we wisely (I think) decided that we could

preschool ole Eva ourselves. 

 

So here's what "homepreschool" looks like...

 

On Mondays and Tuesdays, Eva and I drink coffee and chocolate milk for an extended period of time.  If no babies are imminent, there is a 50% chance we will remain in our PJs watching cartoons, cleaning the house and reading books until 15 minutes before sisters come home from school. 

 On these days, we will have a snack with sisters, and then we all get down to some homework.

Eva loves to complete page after page in her prek numbers and letters workbooks.

 

On Wednesdays and occasionally throughout the week, Eva comes to work with me. 

My tiny apprentice hangs out at the birthcenter and gets to play with the other midwives' kids. 

 And there's your socialization.

 

On Thursdays, Daddy is in charge of the education. 

They usually make a visit to the library followed by some running of errands.

Daddy is great at finding opportunities for learning in everyday life.

 

Going back to Mondays and Tuesdays... 

If no babies are imminent, there is also a 50%  chance 

we will decide to get dressed and take advantage of the beautiful fall weather.

Today was one of those days.

I decided on a field trip to the pumpkin patch.

 

 

Petting zoo. 

We learned that two pigs really do like mud.

 Four kittens have sharp claws.

And three goats don't smell so good.

 



 

We learned that Eva is 3 1/2 feet tall. 

 

We learned that pumpkins are dirty because they grow on a vine in the dirt.

We attempted to count all the pumpkins in the patch, but gave up after 23.

If you enlarge the picture you can just make out Mt. Hood in the background.

 



Hay maze.

Geography?

Deductive reasoning?

 



3 pumpkins X 15lbs each + 1 Eva(40lbs) = too much for mom to push in wheelbarrow.

We also learned that Eva is the most adorable punkin in this particular patch.

 



 

And we rode the train which could have been labeled as "engineering" but became a discussion on vocations when Eva excitedly explained to the teenage girl "engineer" that PopPop and Uncle Matt drive choochoo trains and she wants to drive them too.

 

 



Just some honest little thoughts.

I'm not a huggy person.  I'm working on accepting that about myself.  It's hard because I'm a midwife and a nurse and empathetic and all that... just sorta into my own personal space I guess.  I don't greet many people with a hug or say goodbye with a hug.  

My daughter Ali is a huggy person.  She has an elaborate bedtime routine that includes multiple hugs, kisses, kissing her stuffed bear, special handshakes and literal tucking in of the covers.  She WILL NOT leave the house in the morning without a firm hug and big kiss on the lips.  She is 10 years old and still insists on holding my hand wherever we go.  She joked once that holding hands with Mom is like "holding a dead fish".  I asked her to explain and she said that when she holds hands with Dad, he holds her hand back.  Tight.  He likes to snuggle on the couch and Mom likes a little space.  I felt bad.  Really bad.  Here I have very little time left with this sweet girl who still likes to hold hands and I'm a dead fish.  So I'm paying attention now.  I'm not a huggy person, but I'm a fierce hand holder these days and Ali will get all the hugs and kisses she needs.  

Eva is affectionate in her own laid back way.  She is the youngest and still elicits that baby response in me.  I pick her up when she cries.  I pet her forehead when she sleeps.  But a quick hug and kiss at bedtime is all she requires.

Mia is not a huggy person.  She is independent and strong-willed and resistant to too much affection.  I have called her "prickly" at times.  I have threatened to put sugar in her socks to sweeten her up, which gets a rare grin out of her.  I worry that because it is not in my nature to be huggy and because it's not in hers, that she will grow up with some kind of deficient oxytocin receptors due to lack of physical parental affection.  (I just made up a new medical condition.)  

Mia has surgery scheduled this Friday.  I have the whole weekend off-call to take care of her.  While I hate to think about her being in pain or being scared, I am really looking forward to getting to be her mom and hold her hand through this.  I've got Monster House on Blu Ray to watch with her.  I've got ice cream and popcicles and chicken noodle soup.  I've washed her favorite blankie.  And I hope she'll feel just uncomfortable enough to want her Mom....  And I suppose while I'm working on accepting these things about my own self, I can work on accepting these things about my little girl.  The apple doesn't fall far, does it?  

Here's Mia demonstrating how she developed her hernia.  

Fall Colors

Joe is out at a Timber's soccer game and the girls and I spent the evening at the park.  I brought my camera along because these NW fall colors are too awesome not to share.